UBERGALAXY

General Motors, along with Ford and Chrysler, is floundering. The big three North American auto makers are now sinking ships, while Americans and Canadians alike are snapping up smaller, more fuel-efficient vehicles made by European and Asian manufacturers.

Honda was the only manufacturer in America to report record sales this year. And Toyota announced it can't keep up with consumer demand for its hybrid, Prius. Car rental companies say the demand for compact cars is soaring, and full-sized models are left sitting in the lot.

It's no secret that people are leaning towards more fuel efficient vehicles. The change didn't happen overnight. The price of gas has been steadily creeping up, and coupled with a growing awareness of environmental issues in general, people are looking to save money and cut emissions wherever they can.

Meanwhile, the "big three" have been rolling out SUV after SUV, and scratch their heads when the gas-guzzlers don't sell. The truth is this ship has been sinking for years. Production plants in the US and Canada have been cutting shifts, and GM announced recently the huge plant in Oshawa would close by the end of 2009. Oshawa is poised to become Canada's Detroit: turning into a virtual economic ghost-town once the city's biggest employer packed its bags.

The Canadian government has been criticized for failing to make the province of Ontario more business-friendly. The Federal Finance Minister, Jim Flaherty, has gone on record as saying that Ontario is not conducive to big-business, because taxes are too high. This left the opposition screaming foul, saying Flaherty single-handedly convinced GM and other manufactures to pack-up and leave. That would be an easy solution, but the writing has been on the wall for some time.

First off, the very cars that GM makes are problematic. They aren't selling, and the company is losing money. So it's closing its truck plants. Part of the problem is supply-and-demand, but that's not the whole story, either.

One could argue that GM's unionized employees have unionized themselves out of a job. The fact is, while unions are beneficial in protecting employee rights and offering job security, they can also go too far. Too much job security, and wages through the roof, the company simply can't keep up. GM is closing its Oshawa plant, but it's reopening the plant in Mexico, where wages are far lower. It's a shrewd move, and while it may not be right to exploit a workforce that's hungry for jobs and cheaper to employ, it is a reality. And when the American auto industry is going belly-up, it is an attractive job market to tap into.

But unions aren't wholly to blame, either. The problem originates with the companies themveles, and their failure to adapt to a growing and evolving market. GM could be a leader if it got on board the green wagon and realized what consumers are asking for. It could have created a hybrid vehicle, or at least a more fuel efficient one. And we're not talking hybrid SUVs, people.

While gas is high in North America now, it has been much higher in Europe and Asia for years. And, seeing the trend unfold, auto makers have responded with smaller, more efficient vehicles. Smaller because the lighter weight means less fuel burned, and smaller because more and more people are realizing they don't need an SUV if they have no children and live in a condo in the city. I can understand a larger vehicle if you have more than two children in the house to transport. But since most families are having fewer children, if they're breeding at all, why the larger vehicles? Not everyone has a job that requires a truck to haul supplies.

There have been plenty of warning signs leading up to this point for America's auto makers. Environmental issues are at the forefront of people's minds. Money is tight as the economy is slowing in Canada, and gasping for breath in America. People are making shrewd financial choices for themselves, and those choices don't include Ford's Explorers or GM's lumbering Hummers. But American manufactures have been staying the course for so long, it is coming back and biting them in the ass now. And the amazing thing is, some people continue to be surprised by it all.

What surprises me is that GM claims it actually has a bidder for its Hummer SUV line. Apparently, someone out there is still interested in flogging a dead horse, even when that horse has been dead so long, you're insane not to notice the smell.

Now that is what is truly shocking.

Here in Canada the Legislature is adjourned for the summer, but will resume in August. Of course, there is still plenty of news in the world to relish. That being said, here are a few tidbits that I've missed:


Conrad Black denied an appeal
I can't tell you how delighted I was to hear Black's request for an appeal was shot down. The man's continued sense of self-entitlement and unwavering selfishness knows no bounds. You cheated your own shareholders out of $32 million! A report on your fraud in 2003 accused described the racket run by you and your colleagues as a "corporate kleptocracy!" [Hint: "klepto" means to steal, Mr. Black! Surely a man named Conrad knows a bit of Latin?]

Your greed is amazing, and your commitment to your innocence - despite the glaring evidence that resulted in your conviction - is baffling. So stay in jail, and serve as a warning to other corporate assholes, who think that they are above the law when it comes to dipping into company coffers for personal affairs.


Stephane Dion announces carbon tax plan, dubbed Green Shift
The plan was unveiled with much fanfare, and the members of the other Canadian political parties rolled their eyes. For different reasons. The Green Party said it wasn't green enough. The NDP said it didn't do enough to help the middle- and lower-income Canadians. The Conservatives said it would harm business and further discourage business in the country.

The Liberals, well, it was their plan. They thought it was totally awesome! For the record, David Suzuki supported the Green Shift plan on national television, so that certainly helps the Liberals' cause. Suzuki endorsements are gold! That doesn't mean it's not flawless, however. Even David acknowledges that it isn't perfect, but it's a good step in the right direction. Environmentalists don't often say that about political plans. Too bad Stephane Dion has all the leadership qualities of a dishrag, and his plan will never see the light of day.

On Wednesday, a Tim Hortons employee gave a timbit to the fussy toddler of a customer. The iconic donut chain was busy, and the child was crying, holding up the line and stressing out it's mother, no doubt. So Nicole Lilliman thought nothing of popping one of the little, bite-sized donut balls into the cranky kid's paws. The child nibbled away, the mother placed her order, and went on her merry way.

Later that day, however Lilliman was fired by her manager for the giveaway. Turns out that giving free food is contrary to Tim Hortons' policy. Lilliman, a single mother of four, was terminated immediately.

Trying to keep her job, she offered to pay the 16 cents that the tiny donut bite was worth. The timbits can be sold individually for that amount, or in boxes of 20 for about two dollars. But no, the boss wasn't having any of it, and Lilliman was canned.

That is, until the media got wind of the story. By Wednesday evening, Tim Hortons' managers were flustered themselves - yes, perhaps a timbit would have helped them relax. Wringing their hands and red-faced with apologies, Lilliman was rehired at Tim Hortons, effective immediately.

"It was the unfortunate action of one manager who unfortunately made an overzealous decision, and thankfully we were able to rectify the situation," said company spokeswoman Rachel Douglas.

Insult to injury? Day-old timbits are often given away to patrons' dogs. Double insult to injury: anyone who's bought a box of 20 or 40 timbits can attest that there is often at least one extra timbit thrown into the equation, free of charge.

The TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) is on strike as of midnight last night. Toronto is Canada's largest city, and the city has been involved with contract negotiations for the past month or so with TTC union reps. A tentative deal was struck this week, but was voted down by union members on Friday.

Rather than give the public 48 hours notice as initially promised, bus drivers kicked everyone off their buses, streetcars, and subways at midnight, regardless of where said vehicles were.

The TTC had little public support during the whole negotiation process - workers make roughly $50,000 annually, which is more than any other public transit employees in the region. Now, forcing people off their service, stranding thousands of people mid-commute, has cost the TTC any remaining public support it had previously mustered.

So what are Toronto residents doing about it? Well, there's an influx of cars and bicycles on the roads, and taxi drivers are in their own little version of heaven. Realistically, not everyone can afford taxi rides. Nor is it realistic for everyone to walk or bike to where they need to go, be it because of distance, lack of resources, or physical constitution.

Officials for the city and union like are are remaining extremely tight-lipped on the whole process, giving riders no clue when service may resume, and holding the city hostage. It's Saturday morning, and the city is experiencing gridlock, while others are simply stranded.

Personally? I can bike to work come Monday, but my roommate is screwed.

Prison time is likely unavoidable for Napoleonic media baron Conrad Black. Black will probably serve his six-and-a-half year sentence at a minimum-security prison in Florida. Meanwhile, he still maintains the allegations that defrauded Hollinger Inc. shareholders are false, and continues to assert his innocence.

Media reports suggest he'll probably serve at the Coleman Federal Correction Complex in central Florida. The prison's website says that its minimum security wing is "Actively hiring," and that the "location is in urgent need of correctional officers to fill vacant positions." Yes, really.

A friend of Conrad Black said that his biggest fear about his sentence is that he will grow bored behind bars.

Really? This coming from a man who owns a mansion on the Florida coast, among other properties. This, from a man known for his extravagant lifestyle, where he and his family are often depicted, if not seen, wallowing in luxury. There were even rumours that he'd throw a lavish going-away party of sorts for himself this weekend, but those haven't been confirmed.

Come Monday, he'll be in a cell the size of his pantry (not that he's ever gone in there - he has people for that). Not to mention his roommate, a common criminal! He probably won't even have a yacht! The two will be wearing the same prison threads and sharing a common toilet. I bet Conrad doesn't poop for a week - the stress of boredom will be so great.

The Conservative government yesterday confirmed that it will extend the Canadian mission in Afghanistan until 2011. Harper is doing so in a confidence motion that won't be voted on until March. While Liberal leader Stéphane Dion doesn't seem to be willing to compromise on the Afghan mission, he didn't speculate on the possibility of an early election, either.

Probably because he knows he wouldn't win, if an election were held.

The Harper government continues to bait the opposition, making a tough anti-crime bill a confidence issue, as well.

In the sidelines, Dion wrings his hands, knowing an election would mean certain death for him as Liberal leader. While Dion is technically in a position of power, able to force an election at any time, he in fact holds no power, because Harper is increasingly popular, for reasons I don't understand.

Perhaps it is a charismatic problem. A recent study found that while Canadians don't feel Stephen Harper is a charismatic leader, Dion is even worse, personality-wise.

I don't even think it is a language issue: Jean Chretien had a horrible French accent when he spoke English, and often didn't make sense, or his point was lost. But at least Chretien stuck to his guns. Meanwhile, Dion has no apparent backbone and waffles on issues in a voice that could best be described as a French-Canadian Kermit the frog.

So, Harper is free to trounce the official opposition, holding all the cards despite holding a minority government - a position which theoretically should have him walking on political eggshells. But no, his best bet is to continue to bully the opposition, baiting them while passing ridiculous legislation he claims Canadians want. He's free to say what he likes, because Canadians would rather vote for a Conservative with backbone than a Liberal with the personality of a dishrag.